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One Vital Truth; We Need Relationships To Heal

One Vital Truth; We Need Relationships To Heal

Our God designed our brain to be formed and flourish with healthy relationships. It is a core of defining who we are and what we need throughout our lives.

 Once I treated a little girl who had been incested by an uncle.  She was blessed by the unusual circumstance of having a mom who believed her, loved on her, and got her into therapy right away.  In addition charges were pressed and this brave little girl, hugging a stuffed animal from my office and holding her mom’s hand, she entered that courtroom receiving  the strength and courage of a wonderful loving mom who she knew was for her, not against her. This case was in the 80’s and I do not recall the trial outcome.  That result is not the most important thing.  That this  little one had received necessary building blocks for deep relationships giving her joy strength as she continued to heal is what matters most.

Sometimes those relationships aren’t found in our family.  For another client of mine it came from her pastor. One of the first healthy relationships she had ever known.  Not only did he model and encourage her on her healing journey, he helped her build a new identity, and made it a point to allow her to use her talents at the church and created a community for her. Without this caring man, she would have been completely alone.

But is that the norm for most of us who are survivors, even in a church?  Often, I don’t think so.  Being utterly alone and judged by others is not only the usual experience of a survivor, it was mine too.  But things can heal, and grow and change.

We have been hosting a group in our home this year, seeking to  create the beginning of a Chesed, sticking-love community by learning skills on how we can support ourselves and one another.  We are using “Transforming Fellowship: 19 Brain Skills That Build Joyful Community” by Chris Coursey that help support our healing and emotional maturity.  Brain skill 3, forming bonds of two, is the starting line to build strong bonds and establish deep friendships. These skills have been identified by Life Model.

You and I do not have to be alone, unhealed, left searching for our God-given identities.  Please visit and http://thrivetoday for more resources on training our brains for relationship.  Find some healthy growing relationships and start the journey.

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