Emotional Cancer

OK, well I am so glad to be able to get back to this topic.  For months now, details, details, details, with the book have kept me fully occupied.  Hopefully by October it will be available in e-book form and hard copy through the website. 

Emotional Cancer:  I mentioned earlier about the interior damage that happens to any survivor of SV no matter how ‘small’ the incident(s) may seem.  When the commanding officer in the movie “A Woman In Berlin”  said something like “…it’s only 10 minutes.”  I wanted to cry.  How would he have liked it to be himself he was subjecting to the “just 10 minutes.”  These women were subjected to the ‘just 10 minutes” over and over again, but even if it were only once, everything went ‘haywire’ in their brain.  So, the following is from my book:

” Now here is the deal.  In breast cancer, the disease is so invasive, the body cannot heal itself.  The body’s natural design to heal itself is not enough.  Some women learn to radically change their eating and lifestyle habits and areapparently helped by these.  Most women, however, turn to medical treatments.  All of these choices reveal the need to get help for what the brain/body cannot do for itself.  The point is, something needs to done or the cancer will probably kill you.  You need outside help for what cannot be seen on the outside.

Sexual violence is a type of cancer to he brain, heart and soul  Just as in breast cancer, many factors will affect the prognosis.  These include the type of sexual violence, where it occurred, who he abuser was, how often it happened, how long it has festered inside after it happened, the quality of support received, your family situation, childhood history, and so on….All of these qualities affect the Reorganization of your brain following the violation(s).

A survivor who has not been able to Reorganize in a a healing way usually exhibits symptoms that are generally not understood to be related to the SV.  Patricia writes, “determined not to let the rapist ruin my life, I forced myself to get back to normal as soon as possible.  Everyone was amazed at how quickly I recovered.  But I had started drinking and overeating.  I didn’t know why, but only that I had to lest something terrible should happen.  In actuality, the terrible thing had already happened–I had been assaulted.”  Well said.

Another survivor came up to me after a conference and said she could see no ill effects of her rape.  As we began a conversation, I discovered several relationship problems, including at least one divorce (not to say all divorces are the result of SV, though the unhealed survivor is probably unaware of her/his contribution to it if there has been a lack of treatment of some sort).  When I mentioned this possibility, she had an “ah-ah” experience, a new understanding of how her anger contributed to her divorce.”

What are the symptoms of a brain gone ‘haywire’ that has worked hard to heal itself and has Reorganized along some old fault lines?  I will address that in another post.

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