Date Rape

Weird.  I have in my notes that I did this blog May 12, 2010.  I cannot find it anywhere, so I am going to do it again!

Statistics: Research on date rape does not separate it from Acquaintance rape.  This is a mistake.  Acquaintance Rape may not be date rape though certainly her date is an acquaintance at the very least.  Acquaintaince rape may be her doctor or the neighbor who helped bring in the groceries but are not dates.  These are two different categories.  It is much harder for date rape survivors to identify their experience as in fact a rape.  After all, they accepted the date, have usually gone out willingly with the guy, and usually there is an aura of at least a possible romantic attachment.  Often there is a cultural belief that because he paid the way he is owed something back.  This is a lie.

“In an October 22 statistics study at the  University of Tennessee, 25%of college women surveyed are victims of rape or attempted rape.  84% of the women assaulted were raped by an acquaintance and 57% were considered date rape.” (Self defense Against Date Rape and Acquaintance Sexual Assault,” Date Rape Statistics: Dating Can Be Dangerous, October 22, 2002, www.pepper-spray.store.com/date.shtml)

“Even more shocking is that eighty-four percent of men who were involved in a date rape did not realize that their actions legally fitted the description of date rape.” (“Seven Things You Should Know How to Prevent Date Rape,” Mr. Ghaz, February 21, 2008, www google.com/base/a/5665824/D14573882229579118613)

Definition: If you’ve been fondled beyond your sexual value system, been pressured in any way to give back to him and have felt unable to say no or to protect yourself, you’ve been violated.

Story: “Katie Koestner’s story is not a pretty one, but it’s one that she’s shared with audiences across the nation more than 1,000 times.  That story recounts her experience as a victim of date rape…Koestner was a self-described naive and shy 18-year-old when she left her native home in Pennsylvania to attend college a William and Mary.  “By the time I started college, I had already made a lot of plans for myself,” she said.  “My plans didn’t quite work out he way I planned.” ‘

One night changed her life…she and her date had dinner, an experience she described as “perfect,” but then she invited him back to her room…”I liked him–I liked him a lot,” she said.  “The entire issue might be more crystal clear if I didn’t like him.”  Despite her refusal to drink more than a couple of sips of champagne, her attempts to turn the situation into a joke to give him an out, and, once he refused to take no for an answer, her struggle to get away from him, her date completed the act of violation” (“Erskine Students Hear Plea From Date Rape Survivor,” netnews, April 14, 2009, http://www.erskine.edu/news/dat.11.07.03.html).

She was scorned by fellow students and others.  Her father refuses to come hear her speak, and her mother told her she would never find a husband because she was damaged goods. 

Her attacker was found guilty (good for her to press charges) but was only banned from her dorm for a single semester!!  Talk about evidence of a rape-based culture!!

To be continued…

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