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Continuing on Brain Reorganization

The following is a bit more from my book.  I hope it gives encouragement to survivors and their loved ones.  The brain is more amazing than us mere humans can possibly imagine.

The hope and the goal is that the survivor’s brain can be Reorganized differently after sexual violence.  If you have allowed yourself to be controlled by the Code of Silence, now is the time to make a choice for secret-breaking and optimum health. This choice is not likely to be easy. Others in your world are likely to want to pull you back into silence. However, breaking that code indeed and allowing God’s truth to be known will set you free from the bondage your abuser inflicted on you.  What is your choice going to be?  To stay where you are or reach out for help? To reach out will take courage, but I know for sure you can do it and that you will not be sorry.

If you want to get your brain rewired toward a healthy Reorganization, the process will not be linear, like following a line, always moving forward and upward.  You will, in fact, move forward, but will sometimes recycle back into the process.  It is important to remember this concept if you make the choice to get help to heal. Your feelings will not be the indicator of your progress.  You will need others to help you see where you have come from and how far you have come.  A habit of journaling daily can also be a great help with this.

Author Fred Littaur writes that “the first step in our quest for freedom is to want to be out from under the bondage so badly that we are willing to do whatever it takes for relief.”  [Fred Littaur, Promise of Restoration (San Bernardino: Here’s Life Publishers 1990)23]

Keep in mind the following principles when embarking on the Reorganization stage of recovery:

It is permissible to lean on others, in fact it is essential, and part of this process will be finding those you can lean on.  They will be encouraging, supportive, available, and non-judgmental. They will not give unasked for advice.  It is a gift to them that you choose them to lean on.

Allow yourself as much time as you need to be in this stage, depending on your unique situation. Each individual is unique.

If there is an occasional day you need to just lay in bed and feel sorry for yourself, it’s all right.  It might be part of your process, but not a place to get stuck in.

Take it easy on yourself.  Learn to be patient, kind, and compassionate with yourself in all kinds of everyday situations. Be not judgmental of yourself even as you wish others would not judge you.

There is a light at the end of this tunnel and this stage will not last forever if, and only if, you make the choice to do what you need to heal, a choice that may challenge you to keep choosing if the going gets hard.

It is totally fine to question God, be angry with Him and express it.  He is never going to leave you or forsake you on this journey. He understands your anger, even at Him, and He does not condemn you, but will help you through it.  He is your good Dad and if sin had not entered the world this would never have happened to you.



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