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Banish Negative Beliefs

The above subtitle is from my book, Redeem the Silence; an Unintended Journey.…soon to be available through my website as an e-book and hard copies will be available also.  Hopefully this will be happening within the next 2 weeks, as April is Sexual Violence Awareness month, represented by wearing jeans to work.  It may actually be called Rape Awareness month too.

I am going to continue on Reorganization with an excerpt from the book subtitled ‘Banish Negative Beliefs’ today:

Whenever we have been sinned against, negative beliefs can become embedded in our hearts (although we don’t necessarily realize they are there).  A survivor may be able to say she knows she is not responsible for her violation, but her decisions and actions may betray her true belief.  There is a big difference.  Most survivors blame themselves however.  Such blame is not the truth.  The person who did it to you is totally responsible for he/she did.

Basically, the help you choose must in some way lance wound and drain out the pus (the cancer, emotional pain caused by the sexual violence).  The help you choose must expose lies and replace them with truth.  Then the wound can be mended.  After a physical surgery wound has healed the scar may still feel a little uncomfortable if touched, like a small irritation.  So it can be with sexual violence.  Anniversary dates, for example, can be common irritations on a surgery site of this sort.

“Like the anniversary of a death,” writes Marie Marshall Fortune, “the anniversary of a rape is a significant tine of reflection and experience for the victim.  She may want to recall the the details of the assault, or mark the date in some personal or corporate way in celebration of the progress she has made in recovery and renewal.  it might be helpful for a pastor to mark the date on his/her calendar and pay a visit to the victim sometime during the week of the anniversary.” [Marie Marshall Fortune, Sexual Violence the Unmentionable Sin, (New York:The Pilgrim Press 1983) 155].

When in counseling, please know that many therapists do not know how to treat sexual violence effectively.  So remember that you are the consumer, and if yo do not feel comfortable (or after a period of time find the treatment not helpful) feel free to shop around.  Your therapist needs to be someone you feel safe with, a person you can trust and with whom you are free to question absolutely anything  If you find yourself changing therapists often however, then you might be trying to avoid something  A well-trained Christian counselor that is a good fit might be desirable, but please do not rule out other possibilities.  I  believe the therapist does not need to be a Christian.  If I need brain surgery, I want the best brain surgeon I can find whether they are a Christian or not.  Most secular therapists will accept that you are a Christian and treat that respectfully, and you do not need to use them if they don’t.  God is not limited and can work trough any well trained counselor who respects your faith too.

Well, enough for now…to be continued later.


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