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A New Life to Come

As you may note, here and there I have been writing about what I call the Ravaged Stage of recovery.  Today I will bring some hope into part of that stage.  The following is from my book:

“Remember you are birthing a new life.  There is something to look forward to at the end of the process.  As you move through the stages of recovery,  you will still be the person God made wonderfully.  But think of it an an Unintended Journey.  Recovery can now become an opportunity to allow God to expand and grow the special qualities He has put in you.  His promise is real.  He will turn the most horrendous evil into good.  You are at a crossroads.  Will you hold onto such things as bitterness, depression, fear, anger or will you choose to move forward to transformation placed before you?

Please remember that shock is your friend.  It is there to help you take care of necessary business:  Keep safe. Talk to police or someone.  Keep functioning.  Shock also keeps you from being suddenly and overwhelmingly flooded with feelings before you are ready for them.  It is a God-given gift.  As your brain and internal system begin to reorganize and make new connections, the shock will fade.  The sooner you get help, the sooner those new connections can be made in a healing direction. 

I was unaware of just how angry I was and that it could matter, affect, or be noticed by anyone else.  Buried deep in the pain of the attack but not understanding how much pain and anger was within me, I stumbled on, fluctuating between this anger and gradually deepening depression. 

Family members can be of great help toward moving to the next stage.  When things happen that catch you off guard and throw you into a temper tantrum or emotional outrage, you need someone to notice your pain and not judge you.  It helps when someone else helps you understand when your anger is out of proportion to some incident.  Some families know instinctively how to be a healing breath of fresh air.  There are online and local resources to help too.  Today the YWCA has a rape crisis line that you can call if you have no one else to talk to.  Please note, I am addressing adults here.  Children rarely have any resource.

First of all, after any type of SV you need to feel safe again.  You need to feel someone empathizes with you.  You need someone who will let you talk and let you cry.  You need to be in a space where you will not be judged; where guilt will not be implied in any way.  You need someone who will put your needs first.

I will finish this section next time….

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